I am a senior in college. Tomorrow is my first day of school for the spring semester. I still get nervous about the first day of school, even though I've had multiple first days. I don't know my professor and I'm not sure who will be in my class. I don't know where I'll sit or what content knowledge I will need to succeed. I find new experiences very intimidating. I've had entirely too many first days, in addition to the first days we all have every year. My family moved when I was in elementary school and I began the 5th grade at a completely different place where I knew no one. First days are different when you're in a new place. In elementary school it's not as scary though, because the "I desperately want to fit in" crisis doesn't really start until middle school. In middle school most of the kids from my elementary school were shipped there too - it wasn't a terrible first day because there were some familiar faces. In high school I decided to transfer schools my sophomore year. It was one of the scariest days of my whole life - I was the new kid and the "I desperately want to fit in" crisis had set in. Most everyone wanted to be my friend at first because I was new and someone that wasn't wrapped up in the dramas of freshman year. As time passed I quickly became boring and fit into the crowd. I decided to go to a small liberal arts college in hopes of becoming a first grade teacher. I was able to play tennis competitively for the college which was by far the best decision I made there. I had many preconceived notions about the school when I committed and was quickly proven wrong upon my arrival.
In a small liberal arts school it's not uncommon for everyone to know everything about each other. I found that as a freshman, you were faced with two options: you become someone or you reside as a nobody. I chose to become someone and joined an organization that I quickly became embarrassed and unproud of (unproud isn't a real word, BTW). This organization had a way with words and was home to some of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen. They made me feel like I belonged and was one of them...then they turned on me and made me feel insignificant and sorry I was alive. These girls were privileged because their two-faced "kind" words and super model physique got them everything they wanted or needed. I managed to get myself out of the situation by switching roommates, drowning myself in homework and focusing on my tennis. My new roommate and I had very little in common and I could not have been happier. We were so different that it worked - I actually cried when we parted ways. When my mom was diagnosed at Roanoke Memorial this summer, she actually came to the hospital with flowers. She's taught me a lot about what it means to be an unconditional friend and how it feels to be respected. In addition to having a great roommate, I fell in love with fitness and tennis again. Tennis was an outlet for my stress, anxiety and anger. I played every day, worked out three times a week and competed in tournaments on the weekends. I took all my aggression out on the ball instead of the mean girls that taunted and harassed me every day on campus. You know the saying "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade"? I think it's more like "when given a trash truck, drive it proudly". I would never repeat my freshman year, but I learned so many valuable lessons and made a handful of friends that I will have forever. I was able to be a college athlete with good stats and maintain a B average through all the animosity I endured.
Today's devotion is from Genesis 39:2, 4-10, 17-20. The phrase that best describes the story between Joseph and Potiphar is "bloom where you're planted". Potiphar tells Joseph that he is in-charge of the entire household. Soon after, Potiphar's wife asks, begs and harasses Joseph to sleep with her. Joseph says "no" because Potiphar would be mad and it's not in God's will. Potiphar's wife accuses Joseph of fooling around with her while her husband is away. Potiphar believes her and sentences Joseph to prison. Being in jail probably sucks - it's dark, dirty and lonely. Joseph had nothing to be ashamed of though, he obeyed his master and was part of God's family. My freshman year of college felt like a prison sometimes. There were people constantly putting me down, wishing ill upon me and hoping that I'd fail. There were many slanderous things said about me that were intended to hurt and ruin my reputation. Looking back, I realize I cared way too much about what those girls thought when ultimately it didn't matter. In the end, I was victorious like Joseph. I changed my life for the better - I made all those changes while at that college but then I transferred somewhere else. I found my passion in fashion and changed my degree. I joined a sorority with values and morals that are actually practiced and upheld. I became the friend I'd actually want to have and need when times got rough. I am so proud of everything I've overcome and accomplished.
First days are indicators of what the future might hold. The phrase "bloom where you're planted" means to make the best of every opportunity, seize the day and to try again - even if it's your 48,765 time. Even though Joseph ended up in jail, he obeyed his master and God. He made the best of the situation and was faithful to his master and Lord. Thankfully, I'm not in prison but I resonant with the feeling of being trapped. I am often overwhelmed with not so fun situations and emotions regarding my mom's fight with cancer. It is hard to bloom where I'm planted because I'd rather be planted somewhere else, away from cancer. To put it simply, my family resides in a big pot of flowers, each person a flower with their own stem. Together we make a happy little bunch weathering wind, rain and sunshine on a daily basis. This cancer is like a weed that spreads, never ceasing, no matter how many times you spray it with weed killer. As far as I know, flowers don't see a weed approaching and drop to the ground because they're scared. They have roots to help withstand the forces they cannot control. Flowers grow with their pedals facing the sun, much like my family turns to God. We will continue to make the best of every situation we are given, regardless of the weeds that try to crowd our planter, continuing to bloom where we are planted.
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