I love shopping. I love the halogen lights, the smell of credit
card plastic and the touch of a disease-ridden shopping cart. When I shop, the
world gets better. When I shop, I am able to exercise my opinion and
creativity. When I shop I don’t worry about all the things I “should” be doing.
I’m just focused on finding my next favorite blouse or the pan that I’ll make a
Thanksgiving casserole in. I typically spend at least 2 hours a week shopping
in some capacity; online shopping, grocery shopping or TJ Maxx/Homegoods
shopping. Call it what you will, but shopping is my hobby.
Most of my shopping memories from when I was younger
consisted of back to school shopping trips. My mom used to take my sister and I
to places like Dillards, Macys and Hechts (remember Hechts?!). Everything we
selected and tried on had to be mom approved. When I was younger, I enjoyed
putting on a fashion show trying on everything and prancing around the dressing
room. As I got older and more capable of putting together a decent outfit, it
became more annoying that my mom would make me show her everything I wanted her
to buy. She vetoed a lot of the outfits my friends at school were wearing. I
would get so frustrated with her and explain that she was ruining my life. She
would always say “yea, I’m a mean mom. You’ll thank me one day”. And it’s true.
When I look back at old yearbook pictures and selfies (before selfies were
cool) with my friends and the outfits everyone else was wearing…they weren’t as
cute as we all thought they were. I’m not saying I was dressed cool at all –
but I never owned anything trendy…ever. Trendy things were expensive and not in
the back to school budget. We stuck to private label knock off brands that “gave
the same look as all the things your friends are wearing”. My mom was notorious
for saying things about the clothes you wear not being as cool as the person
you are inside. All that typical mom stuff. It’s funny how so many years later those
are the things that stick with you.
When I was in college at ODU, my mom was working part time
and was off on Mondays and Fridays. I loved Mondays and Fridays because usually
we would go to lunch and then hit a store or two and shop together for a couple
hours. It was a weekly occurrence that at least one day a week we would get
time together to goof around and spend dad’s money. It’s not normal to spend or
want to spend that much time with a parent; I get that. But I was never a
normal kid. My parents have always been two of my very best friends. My mom was
awesome. She had this way of making you feel like you were the most special
person in the world and that she wanted to hear every detail of even the most
mundane stories. She was so fun and yet so painfully conservative all at the
same time. I’d be willing to bet my life on the fact that she never wronged
anyone deliberately or took anything or anyone for granted, ever. She was
amazing.
Maybe that’s why I love shopping so much. Because it was something
we used to do together. Now a days I enjoy shopping by myself. It’s an excuse
for me to refocus and unwind. The last time I was in TJ Maxx I saw a book with
a tranquil front cover that was on clearance. It was a meditation book with
daily short passages about God, life and our place in it all. I did what any
maxxanista would do. I bought it. For $10 bucks, how could you go wrong with a
daily devotional? Today is Day 1 of this devotional and the quote to kickstart
the day is “He that will not apply new remedies must expect new evils; for time
is the greatest innovator” – Sir Francis Bacon. Today’s devotion is all about
change and how we must change to keep moving forward. When my mom died, I felt
like I didn’t want to move forward. For the first time in my life, I didn’t want
tomorrow to come. I didn’t want to grow up. I didn’t want to try new things and
experience anything else because I had experienced enough. Death is a hard
subject. It’s hard to understand and to explain. It’s hard to watch someone
breathe and know that it’ll be their last breath.
Our world is desperate for change and the newest, fastest,
bestest technology and innovation. Because of death, because of cancers,
because of tragedies we are forced to innovate and progress forward. We are
forced to move forward and apply new remedies because if we didn’t, more of us
might have the exact same fate. Ultimately, we all die. Yes. But we don’t have
to die from cancer or a tragedy; if we keep moving forward and applying new
remedies we might find a cure or be a solid step closer to world peace. As I
sit here tonight, blogging about this devotion I am reminded that time truly is
the greatest innovator. With time everything falls apart and comes back
together to make the years of our lives that are worth remembering and living
for. While my life has taken some unexpected and devastatingly sad turns, it’s
had moments and years of unbelievable happiness too. Choosing to focus on the
happiness in my life and the possibility that with time things could get even
better is worth the wait. It’s worth the new evils that may or may not arise.
Tonight I’m thankful for this new perspective. I’m thankful
for the challenge of this quote and for the back to school shopping memories
with my mom this blog brought up. I challenge you to embark on this 365 day
journey with me and Meditations from the Mat.
Book:
Meditations from the Mat. Daily Reflections on the Path of
Yoga. Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison.
