One of our family trips was to Dayton, Ohio for my cousin's wedding. It was a beautiful ceremony and reception. The two were basically made for each other - sorta restored my hope for humanity. On the way home from the weekend of fun we stopped at a subway on the outskirts of West Virginia. It was a pretty nasty place - we stopped because we were desperately hungry and needed a bathroom. We ate inside the restaurant because we couldn't stand to be in the car any longer than we absolutely had to be, seeing as it was roughly a 12 hour drive. While we were eating, I noticed a car recklessly drive into the parking lot and park across two spots. My first thought was that they had robbed a business and were driving the get away car trying to obtain more cash from this subway. Much to my surprise a trashily dressed woman got out of the car and walked quickly into the subway. She came in and asked if someone specific was working. That particular employee came out from the back and the woman erupted into tears. At this point I was having lunch and a show. It was sorta like watching a train wreck - it's so horrific that you just can't look away. As she cried she explained what happened. I didn't hear the whole story, but I discovered that her boyfriend was recently put in jail. She talked all about how the bail was so expensive but that she needed to see him and help him in any way she could. She hugged her friend and said she was going back to the house to gather and pawn her most expensive items. It was at this point that I just felt sorry for this woman and sorry I had listened to her conversation. I don't know what her boyfriend did to deserve jail time, but not once had I ever thought about who jail time really affects - the family and friends of that particular individual. I began to pray to God. I prayed that he would help this family and heal her broken heart. She was so sad to watch. What happened next was truly inspiring. After hugging her friend, the woman turned to leave the subway wiping her tears and pulling herself back together. Her friend called her back and handed her the watch she'd been wearing. Without a word the two hugged each other and the woman left the store. I hope I never know anyone who needs to be bailed out of jail, but I hope that my good friend would give me her watch to sell to raise money for bail if I needed it.
It's easy to see the negativity in the world. It's easy to get down on yourself because you're seemingly undesirable or unworthy of good or praise. It's much more difficult to see the positive in a grim situation. In my meteorology class I learned that the sunrise and sunset are a wide variety of colors largely due to environmental and man-made pollution. Basically the junk in the air causes the colors to merge together forming a work of art in the sky. This is truly an example of seeing that there can be beauty in smog. There's always a silver lining, it's just a matter of finding it. This year has had it's ups and downs all over the place. I've lost my true best friend. I fell in love with the wrong person. I STILL have another year of school. I STILL live at home. But, I am so blessed and so rich in many other areas of my life. I have an unbelievably supportive friend group who I believe would not only give me their watches, but might just drive me over to the jail with a box full of their most precious belongings as well. I have a job and coworkers that support, encourage and nurture my passion for fashion confident that it will lead me to a future career. I have a large extended family that cheers me on when I learn a new recipe or make another semester of straight As. But the silver lining in all my poor decisions and crappy hand of cards is that I'm becoming the person I was meant to be through it all. I don't know why bad things happen to good people - but I know I stand taller and more proud because of all the pollution that's cluttered my life. I know I am confident, strong and independent because I have survived the worst and I WILL be okay.
When bad things happen to those around me I used to think "oh no, that's horrible!" But then I would check my facebook or listen to Beyonce and forget all about other people's problems. My reaction to tragedy and heart ache is much different now. It doesn't hurt to reach out and offer help or let them know you're thinking about them. I've become much better at showing how much I care for others. I've allowed myself to open up and live life without the fear of rejection or disappointment. All I know is this - if you get the opportunity to tell someone how you feel, do it. You can't rely on tomorrow. You can't rely on today. You've truly got to make the most of every moment you have with the people you love. I've wasted 20 years of expressing my feelings, but I've certainly made up for lost time. I've blocked numbers of people I don't like and become obsessed with the people I love. Life is so much sweeter when you're living the life God is offering and providing. My relationship with God extends beyond the church pew at First Lutheran. He rides shotgun in my car, helps me steam the clothing at Apricot Lane and sits in the room while I give presentations to incoming freshman at ODU every other Thursday. And much like God's known presence, I can feel my mother all around too. I think about her all the time. 90% of my thought are positive happy memories and the other 10% make me cry hysterically. But I know she'd be so proud of her family and friends for carrying on. I know she's proud of everything I've accomplished this year. And more importantly, I know she can't wait to see all the "good stuff" we do for others. So whether it be pawning your watch for bail or creating a little more pollution to enhance the colors of the sunrise tomorrow, I encourage you to live for the silver lining and bring out the positive in all situations.
Dear God,
Thanks for the sunrise and sunset. Thanks for environmental pollution and summer school. Thanks for stupidly long road trips and subway. Thanks for always showing us the silver lining and the promise of a new day. Help us do more and be better than we were yesterday. Help us have full hearts and an abundance of kind words. Encourage us to share those words and feelings with those around us. Help us share and better understand your love. Amen.
