2 > 1

The devotion for today comes from Genesis 2:15-24 and discusses the need for a soulmate. God created a mate for Adam because "it is not good for the man to be alone". This is perfect timing since half of my friend group has recently gotten engaged over the break or been busy planning their dream weddings. I'm at the age where marriage and serious relationships are a reality and it's intimidating. Sometimes I feel like I'm in the hunger games, desperate to find someone that's unattached and relatively normal. I start to think that I'm ready for it all to happen - the proposal, the house, the dinner parties...but then I start to laugh. I was the girl in middle school and high school that had lots of "boyfriends". It was your typical check 'yes or no box' notes, meeting at the park to hold hands and talk on the phone about tv shows for hours. Dating in middle school is beyond ridiculous because you can't really go anywhere and you don't have money to spend on anything. High school dating was a little easier because you're mobile...but if you have a job you're only making minimum wage. Your parents set curfews and if you dated me, an adorable 6 year old boy was sent to annoy you when it was time for him to leave our house - incredibly clever and super annoying. Dating in college is a whole new world because you can date whoever you want without your parents knowing. My mom has always been my best friend and my life has always been an open book. She knew everything about everyone I ever liked. I guess that's why I struggle with my emotions and feelings now...because we can't really have the same level of conversation anymore.

Three summers ago I had my first serious relationship. I learned what it was like to build your life around someone, to make future plans and become secure in yourself and his identity. Fortunately, God stepped in and saved the day. My mom was right behind Him though. Love is blind sometimes...and can definitely be blinding. I was blinded for months. Towards the end I started to realize I had lost my voice, my passion and my identity. I was so excited that someone loved me and wanted to be with me that I had settled. I realized the things he was telling me and saying weren't true. At least not what I believed to be true. I learned what his intentions were in faith, society and life. We were polar opposites on issues that should have been addressed early-on in the relationship. I have not had a serious relationship since it all ended and I don't think this guy is a terrible human being. I think there's a perfect match for everyone; man and woman, woman and woman, and man and man...whatever floats your boat. I wear my heart on my sleeve and give way too many chances for redemption. After it all ended with this guy, my mom and I had several long talks about finding the "perfect" guy. Perfect is a relative term because nobody is perfect. You need to find someone that is willing to compromise, bring out the best in you and what you love and respect you always. I hope to find someone as wonderful as my dad. My parents have known each other since they were 15. They have a disgusting love story - the kind they write about in movies: junior high sweethearts that dated for 8 years, got married and love each other more every day. In the process of reorganizing everything in our house to better suit our needs, we found an old jewelry box that belonged to my mom. The only piece of jewelry inside was a little gold ring. It looked like a cheap gold wire that had been bent to form a heart. I brought the box to my mom and asked what and why she kept this; she explained to me that this was the first piece of jewelry my dad had given her...when they were 15 or 16. She wore it all the time and kept it to remind her that she had truly married her best friend.

I'm fortunate enough to be dating the first boy I ever liked. The best part about the whole situation is...I don't know what will happen or what to expect, but I know my heart is safe. Dating is about having fun...if you're not having fun, you're not doing it right. Whenever I'm with him I learn things about myself and what I'm looking for. For Christmas he gave me a card that said "you are one of the strongest people I know, with a huge heart! Don't change for anyone!" He also gave me the world's greatest gift in addition to this card (proving that he definitely hears me when I talk). One of the main things he's taught me is to believe in myself - to have confidence in my feelings and emotions. I don't know that there's anyone out there who knows me better than he does. You see, we've known each other since the third grade, been valentines, plus-ones to date functions and friends for all those awkward teen years. We've seen each other grow and change in so many ways - be in love with and hurt by those we thought we could trust. I don't have to pretend to be some girl I'm not - I'm goofy and sassy and inquisitive about everything. I probably annoy the crud out of him on most occasions. Throughout the tragedy in my life, he is a true ray of sunshine showing me that even through adversity I can smile and stand tall. I've learned to trust in him because you get what you give. God works through him and his family daily, reminding me that I shouldn't have to go through this by myself. It's okay to make mistakes, doubt and be complicated but it's even better to let things happen in their natural order. Whatever's meant to be will be - God has a plan and he won't lead us astray. He wants us to find happiness not only in ourselves, but through others as well. It's like going to Busch Gardens by yourself. Chances are you'd still have fun because you can ride the rides, pay way too much for crappy food and do whatever you want. However, it'd be way more fun to have someone to sit with, talk to and complain about the overpriced food and drink. All aspects of life are meant to be shared, whether it's for two months or a lifetime.