Heart to Heart

 

This past week you could really feel the love. I witnessed so many men walking into restaurants and businesses with boxes of candy and flowers behind their backs - ready to surprise their special someone inside. I've driven to the hospital multiple times this week to visit my mother - driving on busy roads and through neighborhoods. Almost every time I drove through a neighborhood I witnessed someone getting out of their car with balloons and gifts for whomever lived inside. I've also been witness to a surprise homecoming event. My dad and I were sitting in Moes on a Valentine's Day date when a woman walked in with a small child. She ordered and was setting her child up in the booth when a dressed out sailor walked into the restaurant. He walked over to her and said "excuse me". She turned around and began to cry - they were happy tears of course. He had candy and a teddy bear for his child, but the best part by far? He was crying too. It's a shame that for most people Valentine's Day is an annual thing on February 14. It's a shame we had to create a holiday to show our love and appreciation for one another, when it could be shared on any ordinary day.

Every year on Valentine's Day you could expect 3 things - at least in the Robinson household. 1. Caroline and I would get some kind of Valentine shirt to wear to school. One year we had matching Velcro heart shirts; they came with a set of letters so that you could change what was written inside the heart. These shirts would have been way cooler if my mom had given them to us before we hit middle school - could have very well been a reason as to why I was bullied. 2. We always got a big heart shaped box of Dove chocolates and a super cheesy card. My mom would always tell us we couldn't eat any before school...but every year half the box was empty before we left the house. 3. My mom always made a giant heart shaped cookie for our after dinner dessert - festive and delicious. My mom was all about celebrating holidays to the fullest. This year was challenging for many reasons - especially since it was up to me to pull all three of these things off. Caroline and I did not get Valentine's shirts and that was a blessing - I am not a fan of graphic t-shirts. Caroline and I decided to write poems and make homemade cards for our parents instead. Judging by the fact that both our parents had teary eyes...I'd say we made a good decision. A couple weeks ago I went out and bought boxes of chocolates for Caroline, Michael and I to receive on Valentine's Day. At first I was a little annoyed that I had to pick out my own gift...but then I realized I could pick out whatever I wanted. On Valentine's Day I was pretty excited about the box of chocolate I was going to receive - I don't mess around when it comes to candy. Finally, I was tasked with making a giant cookie heart. It wasn't too terribly hard - the icing was by far the hardest part. Michael, my dad and I celebrated Valentine's Day at the hospital with Panera, homemade cards and a giant cookie cake. Valentine's Day 2014 was by far the best one yet.

This year I think I finally understood why Valentine's Day is so important to so many women. It's a day of validation, reassurance and thanks. It's a day where love is celebrated - nobody is nagging or complaining...everyone is happy because they're being adored. I know my dad loves me...but getting a Duck Dynasty card with a personal handwritten message was just what I needed to be reassured. I know Coby likes me...but getting roses, chocolates and hearing "I miss you" made me feel like the most special girl in the whole entire world. I know my mom loves me...but seeing her face light up when I brought out the cookie cake and hearing "you pulled it off" was the validation I needed to play the 'mom role' one more day.

My life is very frustrating and overwhelming. But for the most part, I feel like Valentine's Day is every day. I am constantly surrounded by love and affection from close friends, family and people I encounter in the hospital. My dad uses "I love you" much more frequently in our conversations. He hugs me, thanks me for my contributions and acknowledges the sacrifices I make every single day. My mom stays heavily medicated while in the hospital, but her reaction every time I enter a room is priceless - her words don't usually make sense but she smiles real big and reaches for me. It's moments like that that bring tears to my eyes because I know what she's trying to say. I think I love her more and more every single day and I'm pretty sure the feeling is mutual. Every day I realize something she's taught me and relish in that moment...I'm not sure I would appreciate those moments if my mother weren't so ill. My boyfriend is a big strong tough guy, but over the past couple months I've discovered a whole new side to him...a much softer side. He never lets me cry or worry about anything alone - we're a team. He's grown to be someone I can trust and rely on when I need to vent or be reassured. Ever since August 10 I've been a kinder person - more gentile with my actions and words. I text and tell my friends and family what they mean to me on a regular basis. I tell Coby every single day how wonderful he is and how much I appreciate him. This cancer has taught me that you can't live life thinking others know how you feel - you've got to tell them whether it be through words or actions.

God tells us every day how much we mean to Him. He gives us people we need - to rely on, to love on and to listen to. He gives us situations demonstrating His unconditional love. And incase actions and people aren't enough He gives us stories to read further about His love. In fact, God's love is referenced over 500 times in the Bible - depending on your version. The devotion I want to highlight tonight comes from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. I'm going to share with you my favorite parts, "Love is patient, love is kind. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails". This is how I know Valentine's Day exists 365 days a year, because God says love never fails. I wish we were more intentional about sharing love and reassuring others on a regular basis because the world needs more love. Most people have goals in life that involve getting married, having children or excelling in a career...but my goal is to make the world a better place. My goal is to make the world a little kinder - a little more aware. My goal is to make sure that love perseveres. I will continue to spread love, share the Good News and take life day by day with my heart on my sleeve.