The new year brings new hope, aspirations and
beginnings for everyone. It’s a chance to test a new mindset or string of
attitudes. It’s a chance to try a new hobby or travel destination. I don’t know
a sole that goes into the new year wanting everything to remain the same.
Everyone is always looking to advance, upgrade or improve whether it’s their physical
fitness, their electronics or personal finances – everyone is searching for
change. This new year has been much needed for my family and I. I wasn’t
necessarily looking for change because I’ve received enough of that this year,
but for a new beginning – a chance to put the junk of 2014 behind me. There was
much heartbreak, drama and tragedy. 2015 will be better by default, but I can
do everything in my power to ensure that it’s the best year yet. I’m sure you’ve
all seen the hashtag and phrase “new year, new me”. It’s never too late to make
a change and become better than you’ve been. I don’t know why we wait for
January 1 of any year to make that change, but I’m thankful for the opportunity
January 1 provides for my friends, family and community. This year I’d like to
continue the positive changes I’ve made in my life changing this motto to “new
year, same me”. I plan to search for new hopes, new goals, new hobbies and new
insights in the same skin I’ve finally grown used to. I understand that snakes
shed their old skin to make room for the new every 3-4 months. It’s taken me 23
years to grow into the skin I’ve got and there’s still room to grow a little
more; I’ve learned that I’m awkward, kind, ditsy and motivated. I’ve learned
that I can truly accomplish anything I put my mind to and that I’m a force to
be reckoned with in a presentation room. The greatest lesson I’ve learned is
that I am loved by many as a child of God in this skin that’s been mine for 23
years – that’s reason right there for my explanation of “new year, same me”.
I’m 23 and at that awkward stage in life where
everyone is posting engagement rings and career moves on social media. I can’t
help but compare my life to theirs because they’re my peers and it feels weird
to not be joining them in these momentous stages of life. I don’t know what it
is about being a 20 something but you feel as if everything revolves around you
at all times. There’s something about being obsessed with your friends and
everything that happens in their lives – then equating that to what’s happening
in yours. Since August 11, 2013 I’ve been obsessed with my friends’ lives and
how mine doesn’t even begin to compare. At first it was very upsetting to me
and now I think a little differently – it’s okay to be different and experience
different stages of life without modeling your actions or feelings on what
someone else has done. It’s okay to forge your own path and make your own
mistakes. Are you ever really living if you base your decisions on what works
best for other people?
I’ve started running to clear my head and calm all of
life’s anxiety that I just can’t shake off. I started using an elliptical because
it was easier on my joints. I always switched the screen to a race track
setting so that I could measure how far I was running. I would run 2 miles
every day regardless of whether the screen was visible or not; but something about
watching myself digitally cross the 2 mile finish line made the screen
worthwhile. It’s easy to feel good about the decisions you’re making when you
see the outcome in-front of you. I had coffee today with a dear friend and
engaged many conversations about previous “mistakes” and “misfortunes” that
happened throughout our lives. For the first time I could finally see that
these “mistakes” I’ve thought of for so many years were actually blessings and
lessons learned in their own way. I wouldn’t be the person I am without all of
these misfortunes. I wouldn’t understand the joy of being loved and loving
others if my heart hadn’t been broken so many times. I wouldn’t understand the commitment
and challenges it takes to maintain a family if my mother hadn’t passed away
early. I wouldn’t be the devoted Christian I am, if my faith hadn’t been tested
so many times. Each person is different and cannot be compared to another – my life
decisions are my own and impact the course of my life; it’s not my job to stalk
social media to see whether I match up with my friends or peers. God’s will
determines my fate and that’s more comforting than I ever thought. God
challenges us through forces we can and cannot see – he doesn’t provide cancer
or seek misfortune on anyone. He gives us the tools to cope and rise above
illness and despair. This year I’ve made decisions to follow my dreams through
leaps of faith and supportive friends and family with God’s hand guiding me on
paths that at times are pretty lonely and scary. Knowing my mother, she’s
probably back-seat driving and annoying the mess out of God in his attempts to
guide me down different paths. Her presence remains strong and impactful in my
everyday life even though she has passed on; some things I just can’t explain
because I know she had a hand in them.
The passage from my Stocking Stuffer devotional is
from John 10:14-15; it reads, “I am the good shepherd; I know my own sheep, and
they know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father. So I sacrifice
my life for the sheep”. I liked this passage because it’s humbling to think of
yourself as a sheep, wandering around feeding on grass, seed or whatever it is
that sheep eat avoiding wolves and carnivorous animals. I find it comforting
that even though we are sheep, God knows everything about us that makes us
different and unique because He is our shepherd – our caretaker and confidant.
He doesn’t compare us to our peers or judge us for our previous decisions or
misfortunes. Frankly, I don’t think He cares about any of those things; He’s
more concerned with loving us and keeping us as His own, guiding us on our own individualized
paths through life. He teaches us through our decisions and life circumstances
to love one another and find hope in each new day and year. And once we find
it, He encourages us to share the Good News with the world. This new year, I
encourage you to become your best self – learning from misfortunes, giving hope
to those that need it most and continuing the good you started in 2014. May
2015 be the best year yet.
